Now I understand why the summary says :"Lots of boy-feelings". Merlin does feel a lot of things: miserable, rude, irritating, ridiculous.... If it wasn't for the fact that we readers know Merlin and Arthur belong together, I would have thought why the heck Arthur falls for a pathetic loser as Merlin.
For about 99% of the story Merlin is rude with Arthur, whose only fault is being a jock. Being "emo" does not mean being disagreeable with friends and possible suitors.
I found the audiobook of this fanfic. Because my listening is pretty bad, I took advantage of this opportunity.