No Homo - RemainNameless

This fanfic... THIS FANFIC, PEOPLE... I consider myself beyond lucky because I found this awesome fanfic. None of my GR friends have read it and I am not familiar with Sterek (I only know they are from a TV Show called "Teen Wolf" and that's it... I don't know who the actors are, how they look like, what is the plot of the show nor the story between Stiles and Derek...) so to have found this hidden gem…

 

It is everything I look for: hilarious, sweet, with fantastic characters, hot, unpredictable. It is about friendship, coming of age, love, having a good time. Nothing angsty, no drama, no misunderstandings, just light and fun. Little shining hearts and rainbows.

Stiles is one of the most original characters I’ve read in a fanfic (or in a book, for that matter). He is the biggest and horniest moron, who lives in a constant denial. He is a straight guy. Gives homophobic vibes, even though he is totally cool with it. He is very sure of his sexuality... of his "straightness"; so cool in fact, that he likes to hang out with Derek, a.k.a, spend all time naked. The funniest thing is that, for every little thing he does, he makes an excuse, not because he wants to try to convince himself, but he actually believes in it. Every time he and Derek do something, he thinks it is not weird, that all is normal and good. Or he blames it to being drunk or high, because not ever would he have done that being sober. Like, for example:

*Stiles likes to jerk off in Derek’s company, while sitting in the couch and watching porn.
His excuse: his BFF Scott left for Australia for 4 months, and Stiles is feeling lonely. He needs a new bro.

*Stiles and Derek start to give each other hand-jobs.
His excuse: it’s just straight guy dick-touching, it is the same thing that jerking himself off, only with a little help.

*Stiles get jealous when he sees Derek with a girl in a party.
His excuse: he is pissed because Derek does it to rub it on his face. And besides, Derek may get laid, while Stiles won’t.

*Stiles likes to kiss Derek all the time.
His excuse: he likes to kiss. Derek likes to kiss. It is a win-win, and besides, it is practice “for the real thing”.

*Stiles and Derek switch their usual porn to gay porn.
His excuse: he is curious how it works, and gay guys know more stuff.

*Stiles likes to grab Derek’s ass.
His excuse: well, Derek has a nice butt. And whenever Stiles does something forward, he is not sober. Because otherwise he never would have gotten anywhere close to even considering it.

*Stiles goes clubbing with Derek and his gay friend Danny. They pretend to be boyfriends, and Stiles grabs and kisses Derek a lot.
His excuse: Derek is going to get hit a lot by gay guys, and there is no straighter guy than Derek, so he needs a little help from his bro. And all that grabbing and kissing is to make the other guys jealous, because who wouldn’t want to have Derek, who is built like a Greek God.

*When Derek is away for a few days, Stiles likes to sextext him.
His excuse: first is to tease Derek, then it is to show him “something great”, that he just needs to see.

*Stiles and Derek start to give each other blowjobs.
His excuse: It’s not even really a blowjob. It’s more like masturbating, but with his mouth and someone else’s dick. It’s totally different.

This tells you Stiles’ crazy personality. Poor Derek, who has been in love with him for years, knows his rules, and goes along with them. He does not want to freak him out. Stiles is convinced he is straight and every time he suggest something that may be considered weird, like, I don’t know, butt-finger Derek, Derek has to say, as nonchalantly as possible, that he did it once with some girl, so that calms Stiles. The best thing is that, when eventually everybody notices that something is going on between Stiles and Derek, Stiles does not freak out. He just shrugs his shoulders and keep going on, still living in denial.

Gosh, this fanfic was great. I almost rated it 4.5, because of a certain thing that Stiles does and that I would not want to read it again EVER . I’ll just say that Stiles has the most original ideas (and that it is a good to read the tags before reading a fanfic, just to be prepared). I will re-read it in a near future (like, tomorrow).